4 days and nights on the streets of Leicester

00.00 I'm here at the railway station at the start of what I’m sure will be an eventful week, probably boredom....see what happens. The station is not very exciting at night, no one here. In the waiting room there is the blast of hot air so I'm hiding in a corner, out of the way and I can see the room. Here i am going to stay until moved on.

Under the hot air flow. Was just talking with JC about valuing people. Launde Abbey is all about valuing the people that come to it. It’s there to try to care for everyone and anybody. Try and value them.  Show them God's love and show them a purpose for life.

This is my own week-long retreat for the year in every sense of the word. It will surely be transformative and it will surely challenge me. Rather nervous and not sure how it’s going to pan out.

I’ve got a bag with a sleeping bag and I'm using the sleeping bag to cover my legs and get some sleep. See what happens.

Someone wandered into the waiting room, gave me a dirty look and left! Didn’t want to come in here near me. This challenges your perception of people.

00.40am I've been asked to leave the waiting room.

The guy at the train station said, “Sorry you have to leave, I reopen at 4am if you want to come back.” I thought, "I don’t want to leave the station, it's quite warm & cosy".

Not sure I want to head into town. Try and find a quiet place out the way and out of sight.

The Mercury building says the temperature is -5 at moment. No one about. Go back to the station for 4am. Lots of shouting taking place nearby so keep moving.

01.10am - Outside the Curve. Christmas tree and bright lights look beautiful. The streets are not pleasant on your own. Although they are not scary you certainly would not choose to be here if you didn’t have to be here. Keep moving to keep warm until I find somewhere more inviting than what I’ve found so far.

The best option so far is to find a car park. There's a man working in there so wait until he finishes and then I’ll try to access a stairwell. He is still there so I'm going to look for somewhere else.

Found myself a small park on New Walk and I'm tucking myself under a tree. Try to get a few hours' sleep, out  of the wind and all very quiet.

03.30am - It’s freezing. The sleeping bag I’ve got is really old and not much use. I’m going to get up and go for a walk to warm up and head to the train station for when it reopens at 4am. There's nothing romantic about Leicester streets at 3.30 in the morning.

The Mercury clock says it's still -5, but it feels colder. There are still people moving about at this time of night.

04.00am - Back at the train station and it's beautifully warm in the waiting room. The guy was very helpful. I need sleep and it's very cold outside. It's a shame the waiting room isn't open all the time.

05.00am - I’ve taken off a few layers inside my sleeping bag (coat/scarf) so that I feel the benefit when I go outside. I can see people moving around the train station so I need to be careful. I’ve taken my boots off which is a bit risky but should be ok. Hopefully I’ll feel 100% better after some sleep.

06.00am - Just been moved on. This guy has a different approach, “You can only wait for trains in here, so get out”. I'm going to use the toilet and head off to find a cup of tea.

The same guy has just returned after a few minutes. It obviously played on his conscience and he says I can now stay here until 8am. So I can hopefully have a few more hours' sleep in the room. It should be warmer outside by then.

That situation showed me the shear powerlessness of my position. He had total power over what happened. I was at his mercy and it was a bit humbling really. It’s amazing how much power or authority people have over other people's lives.

I have none. No authority, no responsibility. Not even to decide whether I sit on a bench or move on. I’ll have to get used to that over the next few days.

Another attendant has been in and a broken pipe in the ceiling is dripping into a bucket. She totally ignored me. A passenger just gave me a strange look and  left. A look of fear really as she hurried out the door, which is sad. She looked quite scared.

07.45am - I’m going to leave before I get any hassle. The barriers come into action at 8am. I'm heading off to find a cheap cup of tea and see what the rest of the day has in store.

Funny how things work out. The guy who told me to clear off and then returned to say I can stay has just helped me by letting me out through the barriers (that are now working) so I don’t have to ask the other two people on the barriers. He checked his watch to see the time, so glad I was honest and left before when he told me.

A luxury item I brought with me was my prayer book. I’ve just said my prayers in a cafe with my cup of tea. The reading was relevant, to say the least, ‘Now is the time for you to wake from your sleep...’

I now have the whole day to try and waste to get through. It's cold and pretty miserable. People are going about their business and I’m trying to eke out my cup of tea for as long as I can. It reminds me how close you are to the edge when you have nothing or very little. The cafe waitress just dropped the saucer...crash! 

We tend to be consumers of things and have our identities made by what we own rather than by who we are. We no longer understand ourselves through relationships with other people but by what we possess. 

I wonder how we understood who we were in times gone by. We were part of a tribe or a village and had fixed relationships. Then the industrial revolution turned us into citizens of the nation state with rights and responsibilities. Now we live in a society that defines us as consumers - what we have rather than what our intrinsic value is. 

There must be another way to understand who we are and our relationship to other people and possibly even God. We need to redefine these relationships. No one should be thrown away. How do we change this way of thinking? 

I stayed in the cafe until 10.55am and went to the toilet for a quick wash and used their soap. My other luxury item is a toothbrush. If you can brush your teeth you can at least feel a bit normal. I’m now going to find my way into Highcross and see if I can keep warm by wandering in a few shops.